A Confederacy of Dunces

At the start of September, the online version of the Scottish Sun ran a story about former Rangers coach Issame Charai and his time in Glasgow. The headline read as follows: “Ex-Rangers coach says he was warned not to wear anything green and reveals fears of sending daughter to Catholic school.”

A non-story you might easily – and correctly - assume, but one nevertheless purposefully promoted to trigger claims of sectarianism with a predictable slant towards the ‘big bad Rangers’ narrative.

The quote from Charai? “When we were looking for a school for my daughter, the biggest fear was that she would be bullied because it happened to be a Catholic school.”

Hmmm.  Misleading? Yes. Opportunistic? Probably.Scurrilous? I’ll let you decide. What is clear, however, is that this is yet another piece in the litany of clickbait nonsense produced by legacy media outlets in Scotland.

So, when Jim White used his show on the talkSPORTnetwork – a sister brand of The Sun incidentally – to belittle fan media in general, and specifically the questioning of Russell Martin by Heart and Hand and FourLads after Saturday’s game, he, presumably unwittingly, made himself, and his industry, look like a complete arse.

It was the air quotes which really got me.

You can add your own nasally channelled, Jordanhillaccent here: “Simon, in that exchange yesterday, that we heard between a reporter in the post-match and Russell Martin, I’m advised that it turns out to be a member of this so-called (air quotes) fan media…these days, part of a podcast, and these days, I think Celtic does the same and Rangers seemingly do it as well, member of the fan media or several members of the so-called (air quotes) fan media get to sit with the real journalists…”

First, forgive me for the incoherence of that (air quotes) sentence that I have forced you to read. It has been taken verbatim.

You can think whatever you like about fan media, but it is neither so-called nor held within inverted comas; it is a literal definition. And despite the condescending protestations of (air quotes) real journalists like White, it exists not only alongside the publications or broadcasters for whom they have opinions for money, but because of them.

If I can run the risk of verging on the Leckie, let me be clear about this: fan media exists largely because legacy media either won’t or can’t provide coverage of football that many supporters want.

White’s own daily show with Simon Jordan is a case in point. Serving up contrived argumentative hot-takes on (air quotes) controversial issues which masquerade as discussion is a meagre feast indeed. Often White himself resembles the little guy at school who would try to coerce the thick but powerful bully to attack: “Danny says…insert misrepresentation of previous statement…. Eh, Simon. What do you think of that?” In the end, it produces much heat but little light.

At other times, he acts as a fluffer for the egos of the famous contacts in his phone. Of course as he bends to stroke theirs, his own is simultaneously polished. It is a charade, poorly played out by hack actors in bad faith. And to what end? The sale of a transit van or a bag of fucking nails.

It is interesting to note that not one of the real journalists mentioned by White thought it prudent to ask a single question. Were these battle-hardened hacks “intimidated” as White himself suggested? It seems unlikely. Were they stunned into silence by a couple of guys asking pertinent questions which they themselves are unable or unwilling to ask? Again, you can come to your own conclusions.

The problem we face as consumers of football content is this sort of shtick is widespread.

Sky’s coverage of the Scottish game has descended into a weekly farce in which a pantomime villain and a stooge trade insults as a bored hair transplant and giggling girl watch on. It is driven by barbs, cheap shots and bullshit. At times I feel for the participants as, sadly, this is entirely manufactured. According to Sky, this is what we want. Over at the Beeb, we are often treated to not much more than skinny jeans, hair product and banal comment, packaged up with four to five minute match highlights. The (air quotes) analysis which follows will usually focus on a refereeing decision – controversy is king.

In print, we have chosen to go more McNee than McIlvanney. Sensationalism is the watchword of the redtops and the advent of online content has only exacerbated this fall. While I am sure we all remember Jackson’s “wealth off the radar” guff it is to another of his gaffs that, when thinking of the paucity of sports writing, I often return.

“It is real Boyzone stuff,” he wrote of one particular player’s journey. Yes, you read that correctly. Not the derring-do or heroic acts described in the magazine‘Boys’ Own’ but that of the inspirational tale of an Irish boyband. Jesus wept.

So, when White makes reference to real journalists, it begs the question: where are they? There are, of course, still great writers working in football producing thought-provoking, erudite content. They exist, however, almost exclusively in the broadsheets and it is telling that it is these publications that have begun over the last few years to court the opinion of those working in fan media. They - and their pals in the tabloids – have also followed the fan media model by podcasting, blogging and vlogging.  

So, when condescendingly calling out fan media, perhaps Jim White should consider what it is rather than what it isn’t. Fan media isn’t perfect, but it offers up a choice. It provides authenticity and equity for different voices. It allows for deep dives on all aspects of the game in general or a specific club. It focuses on football rather than frippery and cares not for clicks but the quality of its output. It is specific, tailored and honest. It allows for people like me to go on a thousand word rantwhich, inevitably, I will later regret…

Maybe Jim should see the world as it is rather than how he imagines it. Maybe he should revise an old favourite: (air quotes) Fan media, why are you so good?

Rob Erskine